i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
