Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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