We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
