you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
how do you play pong handcuffed?
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Randomize
