I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Randomize
