You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Randomize
