i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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