whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
