I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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