So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
