Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
When are your genitals available?
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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