I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
