Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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