Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
