Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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