I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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