Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
