Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Sex in the backyard? Check.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
