Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
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