turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
