I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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