My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
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