He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
