...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
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