Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
We named our party play list daddy issues
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Randomize
