The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Randomize
