I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Randomize
