The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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