Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Randomize
