i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Randomize
