Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
false alarm. still invincible.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Randomize
