just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
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