I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
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