Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
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