I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Randomize
