am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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