how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize
