have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
