I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
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