There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Randomize
