It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Randomize
