Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Randomize
