Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
