i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I need a beard to bite.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Randomize
