id be glad to
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize
