Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Randomize
