No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
