I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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