If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
It's Friday. Sex?
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
