Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
NoShamevember. You game?
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
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