Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
