Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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