Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
