i may or may not be watching the land before time
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
