The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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